Why Perfectionism Makes It
Hard to Start
Wanting to do well is not a bad thing. But the moment you believe you must be able to do something well before you can begin, perfectionism stops being a standard that helps you and becomes a standard that blocks the start.
The biggest problem with perfectionism is not simply wanting a perfect result. It is demanding a finished version of yourself before you have even begun.
We Think We Have to Be Good Before We Even Start
Perfectionism raises the threshold for starting more than the standard for finishing
When we begin something new, it is natural to want to do it well.
If we start exercising, we want a proper workout plan. If we start studying, we want good materials and a perfect schedule. If we start journaling, we imagine a beautiful notebook, neat handwriting, and consistent entries.
None of that is a problem by itself.
The problem begins when “I want to do this well” turns into “I will start when I know I can do it well.”
From that point on, starting comes with conditions.
You need enough time. You need to know the right method. The plan needs to be organized. You need confidence that you will not quit halfway through.
The more conditions you add, the fewer days feel suitable for starting.
Perfectionism does not only mean having high standards.
Sometimes it appears as requiring too many conditions before you allow yourself to begin.
The Problem May Not Be Lack of Preparation
What you need to start and what you need to perform well are not the same
We often tell ourselves, “I am not ready yet.”
Of course, some things really do require preparation. But for everyday goals, the problem is often not lack of preparation. It is that the threshold for beginning has become unnecessarily high.
I need a complete workout plan, enough free time, the right gear, and confidence that I can do it every week without missing a session.
I only need to move my body as much as I can right now.
The conditions required to do something well are not the same as the conditions required to begin.
Perfectionism combines the two.
So before we have even started, we are already worrying about whether we can perform perfectly for the next several months.
Waiting for the Perfect Start Pushes Action into the Future
While you wait for a better time, nothing actually begins
One of perfectionism’s most common illusions is the thought, “If I prepare just a little more, I will be able to do this much better.”
So we wait for next Monday. We wait for a new month. We wait for work to calm down. We wait until we feel more focused.
The strange thing is that longer preparation does not always make starting easier.
While we prepare, our standards rise too.
The more we learn about what should be done, the more it can feel as though we need to do all of it well from the beginning.
It Is Normal Not to Be Good at Something at First
Starting is not a test of skill. It is the beginning of learning
It is difficult to be good at something the first time you do it.
That is not because you lack ability. It is because you do not have enough experience yet.
You need to try it before you can know what you are capable of and what feels difficult.
Then you can use that information to adjust the next action.
It is the first experience through which ability begins to grow.
Perfectionism reverses this order.
It asks you to be good before you gain experience, skilled before you practice, and certain you will not fail before you begin.
That standard is difficult to satisfy.
An awkward beginning is not a wrong beginning.
Most skill is built by passing through an awkward stage.
Set a Startable Standard, Not a Perfect One
Separate the standard for the goal from the standard for the first action
This does not mean lowering all standards and doing things carelessly.
The important thing is to separate the level you ultimately want from the level you can begin at today.
Your goal can be high.
Your first action does not need to be.
If you cannot find a full hour today, you may not start at all.
You can begin even on a day that is far from ideal.
You do not need to perform the entire goal from the first day.
Starting only needs to be the first action that shows you have begun moving in that direction.
Do Not Eliminate Perfectionism—Separate It from the Start
High standards can be useful later
Perfectionistic tendencies are not always harmful.
High standards can make your work more careful and give you energy to improve it.
The problem appears when you apply those standards unchanged to a stage where you have not even started yet.
What you need at the beginning is not perfection. It is experience.
Start first. Notice what is lacking. Improve it little by little. Then apply your higher standards as you go.
Learn while you continue.
Refine it once it becomes familiar.
Ask yourself one question before you start
Instead of asking, “What do I need to do this properly?”
Ask:
“What is the minimum I need in order to begin this right now?”
The answer becomes your first action.
You Do Not Need a Perfect Beginning
We prepare because we want a good result. We plan because we do not want to make mistakes.
But if preparation and planning always come before real action, even the best plan will not change your life.
Your beginning may be awkward. You may do less than expected. You may start in a completely different way from what you imagined.
That is still a beginning.
Once you start, you can revise it. What never begins cannot be revised at all.
You only get the chance to become good after you begin.